Keeping True to Ones Self
by ParadigmShifter
Summary: Part of the 'Xander the Jedi' storyline. During the time of the Rebellion, Xander fights for what is right, while fighting an internal battle over what he is... Updated, Chapter 6 added!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Since this is going on Tenhawk's XanderZone, why not borrow a line? It's the Coin of the Realm... kind of like salt at one point...  
  
Notes: Xander's stayed in the SW universe, and has made a home. After the fall of the Jedi, and a nasty encounter with the Dark Side himself, Xander has sworn off the use of the Force, and now lives as a mercenary and occasional fighter jock. This isn't replacing Sunnydale Jedi, but is several decades on from it. The spaces in between I will go back and fill in later... (or someone else can if they really want to [ask first]) its just this was kind of interesting, and got me interested again in a project which had begun to irritate.  
  
Oh yeah: Vader's flagship is the Virulence for now, given that the Super Star Destroyers have not yet been built, the first is currently under production.  
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game.  
  
Does anyone want me to post the XJ and SJ stories here? If you shout, I will. It makes sense to, if the further ones are arriving, I suppose.  
  
Rating: PG right now. May go up. I'll see.

* * *

The gun swivelled to face the mercenary, and he pointed his DL-44 heavy blaster pistol at the attackers head.  
  
"Whoa!" cried Xander, "hold it there, cowboy!"  
  
The man dressed as a Stormtrooper eased his finger off the trigger slightly. "Who are you?" asked the man in a suspicious tone that filtered through the helmets tinny speakers.  
  
"Well, seeing as how you've asked that rather than shot me, I can assume that you..." Xander looked the Stormtrooper up and down, "are my contact."  
  
The Stormtrooper reached up to his helmet with one hand, but kept the gun trained on Xander. "So... you're the legendary Xander Harris..." the man's voice changed as the helmet was eased off, "congratulations. If I was a Stormtrooper, you'd be dead right now, or a guest of the Emperor's torture druids."  
  
"Yeah, but you weren't, and I'm not, so forget it. I'm sick of this hole already..." Xander's voice was weary, and his eyes had dark rings under them from lack of sleep. "So you're Kyle Katarn..." Xander mused, "I had expected... I don't know. Not the beard, for a start."  
  
Kyle growled at Xander. "You mention the beard, and I'll stun you and leave you for the Empire!"  
  
Xander held up his hands, the blaster pistol still in a loose grip. "Easy!" He turned and walked down a corridor. "My apartment is this way... we need to find some way to get off this planet once we've breached the Imperial Research Facility. 'Cause security will tighten like you've never seen it..."  
  
Kyle followed, but kept a wary eye out for any watching their meeting. "Fine."  
  
Xander turned as Kyle's footsteps failed to echo behind him. "I think we got off on the wrong foot... I apologise," he grinned, "I do actually like the beard."  
  
"Don't talk rubbish," said Kyle with a hint of laughter. He scratched his jaw. "I'm not too sure I love it myself. But I need a disguise..."  
  
Xander nodded sympathetically. "I know the feeling."

* * *

Jan Ors looked at the screen in front of her. Her partner, Kyle, had contacted her through a narrowband transmission to bitch about the job. Not too unusual a situation, but when you were a merc working for Rebels then it didn't thrill the paying client too much if you moaned.  
  
"I'm telling you, Jan, this guy is not going to help us get in! He's more mercenary than I am!" Kyle shook his head, lamenting the series of events that brought him to the back-end of a planet he currently found himself on.  
  
Jan laughed quietly at Kyle's distinct displeasure. "Oh, and that would be too bad, wouldn't it Kyle? What's the matter? He getting paid more than you?"  
  
The video feed blurred momentarily as the camera was moved, and the grinning face of Kyle's contact appeared. "Is he moaning about me again?" he asked, "Honestly, you'd think he was born with a complaint in his mouth..."  
  
Jan laughed at this, but sobered up as Kyle's face reappeared next to the contacts. "That isn't funny Jan..."  
  
Xander turned to Kyle on the video feed. "Oh, but it is!"  
  
Jan laughed, but tried not to. "OK, you two. Stop it! We need this to go right. Xander, can you help, or do we have to do this ourselves? We need those plans, and the Empire is becoming increasingly aggressive to those planets that attempt to withdraw from the Imperial Doctrine..."  
  
Xander nodded. "No worries, Jan. I can help, and I will. Because I must."  
  
Jan had heard talk like that before. People who talked like that were usually the ones who had lost almost everything to the Empire. "Just don't jeopardise the mission for some mindless revenge." The tone was warning, and Xander was taken aback at it being aimed at him. But then again, neither Jan not Kyle knew him. If they did, he wouldn't be there.  
  
Xander blinked, and humour was gone instantly. "I'm better than that. Besides, for the vengeance I want... I need the head honcho..."  
  
Jan shivered at the inflection in the words. "Fine. Just don't endanger the mission. This is more than any one person, or any group of people."  
  
Xander snorted. "Tell that to the Bothans. They think they invented espionage..."  
  
Jan inclined her head, attempting to hide her grin. "Yes, well." She paused. "We had best end this communication before the Imperial Probe droids pick up the narrowband..."  
  
"Right." Nodded Xander. "See you when this is done."  
  
The communication ended abruptly as Xander hit the 'off' button.  
  
Kyle looked at the man that was going to get him inside the Imperial Research Facility. "Now what?" he asked rhetorically.  
  
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Now... we wait."

* * *

Kyle sat in the easy chair that Xander had in place in front of the holographic entertainment centre set at the side of his room. "Nice place you have here." He said conversationally.  
  
"Nah..." Xander's voice came from the small kitchenette area, "this is a shit-hole, and you know it. You're just trying to make small talk. Well, small talk doesn't work on me. Besides, you can get all the history you need to know about me from Dodonna. If you ever meet him..." he walked back inside the room, and handed Kyle a beaker with some greenish fluid in it.  
  
"I've met him." Kyle said flatly as he took the proffer drink. "And I've read your file. What I could of it, anyway. There are large sections missing. Curious, but not necessarily unique... there are plenty of ex-Imps who don't want their roots traced."  
  
"I'm not an Imp." Xander's tone was dangerous.  
  
"I said ex-Imp." Kyle shrugged.  
  
"I have never been a supporter of Palpatine's Doctrines... his methods, or his madness."  
  
Kyle felt the need to smooth over some of the rough ground he had just ridden over. "Still, even with that, you're quite a hero..."  
  
Xander snorted as he sipped his own drink, the previous discomfort forgotten. "Me? A hero? Who are you trying to kid?"  
  
Kyle sat forward. "No, I mean it. You've been involved in more covert ops for the rebellion than the next three top agents combined... and sliced more than the best Bothans from the Empire's systems."  
  
"Right. What are you to have access to that data?"  
  
"Me? I'm a friend of Jan." On Xander's look, he clarified, "Not Dodonna. Ors. The woman that we were just speaking to."  
  
"So she's a hack... slicer?" Xander's face showed his surprise. His relief at Kyle missing his slip into what he had begun to term 'Old World' terminology was hidden behind his mask. "Who'd a thought it?"  
  
"She's damn good too. I like to know who I'm working with when I get dumped into a job like this..."  
  
"Well, what do you think about me now that you know what I've done?"  
  
Kyle sat back, and drained his drink before replying. "I think your bloody crazy."  
  
Xander raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's refreshingly honest..."

* * *

Darth Vader knelt at the foot of the holocomm on his flagship, the Virulence; an Imperial-Class Star Destroyed, and the current pride of the fleet. His gravelled voice asked in its semi-synthesised tone, "Your wish, my master?"  
  
The hologram of the Emperor smiled inside its cowl. "I have felt... a disturbance, my friend. In the Force. It is time for the Jedi-hunters to concentrate fully on the one known as Xander Harris. He has been a thorn in out side since he first came to the galaxy."  
  
Vader looked up in shock. "But... what of Obi-Wan Kenobi, master?"  
  
The Emperor shook his head. "He is of little consequence, now, my friend. He is too old to train another, and his strength in the Force has been waning of late... he has tried so hard to hide from those that hunt him, that he is loosing that which he is sought for."  
  
"Still... he should not be underestimated... master."  
  
"I know your wish to kill your old master, my friend. All in due time. You shall have your chance... I have seen it." The Emperor smiled grimly. "But Xander shall be instrumental in our defeat of the rebellion that seems so popular of late..."  
  
"How?" Vader asked, before adding belatedly, "my master."  
  
"He is even now in position to aid us... and give us the final piece in the domination of the galaxy. Jan Dodonna and his aides will not be able to run from a weapon able to destroy planets!"  
  
"What shall be done, master?" Darth Vader knew of this new battle station, the well named, 'Death Star'. Able to carry hundreds of thousands of troops, and hundreds of ships, it was a sight to be reckoned with when it hung in space. Add in a laser capable of destroying planets, and it was the final weapon of terror the Empire would need to crush any and all that stood in their way.  
  
The Emperor laughed evilly. "You shall find out in time, my friend. You shall find out in time..."  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Since this is going on Tenhawk's XanderZone, why not borrow a line? It's the Coin of the Realm... kind of like salt at one point...  
  
Notes:   
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game.  
  
Rating: PG right now. May go up. I'll see.

* * *

"Open up!"   
  
The banging on the door increased in volume.   
  
"Open up in the name of the Emperor!"  
  
Xander spun on the spot, drawing a blaster pistol as he did so, and motioned for Kyle to drop to the floor. They crawled over to each other; meeting in the entrance to the small kitchenette that Xander had been making some Caf in.  
  
Kyle rolled onto his back. "If they follow Standard Operating Procedure, they should be shooting the lock, right about..."  
  
Xander whispered as just as the whine of a blaster carbine was heard, "Now!"  
  
Kyle looked at him in surprise.   
  
"Hey, the thing is..." Xander stopped. "Ah... shove it, you'd never believe me if I told you..." He pulled a small transmitter out of his pocket, and pressed the single button on it as a Stormtrooper appeared in the doorway of the lounge, scanning for their target.   
  
The detonation flung the Stormtrooper against the opposite wall, and collapsed the roof of the passageway, blocking the other Stormies.  
  
"Great, hotshot!" Hissed Kyle, "now how the hell do we get out?"  
  
Xander smiled slowly. "The truth will be revealed, young one..."  
  
Kyle stopped dead. "Young? I'm older than you are!"  
  
Xander smirked. "No, you're not. I just... age gracefully." A shout from outside turned his head. "Come on! We haven't got long!"  
  
Kyle followed Xander into the corner of the kitchen, and gaped as the wall opened up in front of them.  
  
"And how are the Stormtrooper's not going to find that if they get in?"  
  
Xander looked over his shoulder. "I doubt that they'll find it... they don't have the... ability..."  
  
Xander motioned with one hand. "You first, mon Capitan."  
  
Kyle started, and looked at Xander suspiciously. But he complied. As he stepped forward, Kyle had one thought running through his mind: How the hell does he know that?!  
  
Xander smiled at the back of Kyle's head, and followed.

* * *

Jan hit the Comms console of the Mouldy Crow with her fist when it refused the connection for the fifth time. "Damn it!" she shouted at the hardware, "Work, why won't you work!?"  
  
Finally she gave up venting at an inanimate object, and slid out of the chair in front of the console. "Kyle... where are you? You should have checked in by now."

* * *

Kyle had more important things on his mind at that moment, foremost among them not being captured by the Empire's Stormtrooper's. "Where the hell are we going?" he asked to the man behind him.  
  
Xander pointed past Kyle's shoulder with his blaster. "Its just down there... follow the tunnel system until you reach the water treatment plant, and then hang a left. Go to the end, where the exit-flow leads, and there's a slipway through to another tunnel. This one is the waste disposal for the facility you want. It stinks, but unless you want to go in the front entrance, it's the only way..."  
  
"And you know this, how?" Kyle asked.  
  
"Who do you think blew the hole through between the two systems? None of the Stormies know about it yet, but once you're in, I'll be sealing it up with some toys of mine... so once in, you can't use the same way to exit."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind... Jan should be able to pick me up in the Crow."  
  
Xander stopped and turned Kyle with one hand. "It's still flying?"  
  
Kyle nodded. "Yeah, it's still flying. Why, you sound surprised..."  
  
Xander smiled at the suspicious look Kyle gave him. "I should be surprised, the last time I saw that ship, it was pretty much scrap after one particularly... rough landing."  
  
"Did a friend of yours own it?"  
  
"No. I did."  
  
Kyle's eyes bugged at that revelation.  
  
Xander continued, "Anyway, it's nice to see the old girl in the hands of someone who'll look after her... Fo... Gods know she deserved better than me flying her..." Xander had to consciously stop himself from mentioning the Force, lest it open the gate once more. He had nearly slipped. The last thing he wanted to do was give the Jedi Hunters another person to go after. Then he realised: he had slipped. In avoiding mentioning the Force, he had mentioned home, instead. Damn.   
  
For the sake of the few remaining Jedi; Ta'ania and her unborn babe, Ben, Valin and his baby son... and the Skywalker twins, he must never be found. The ultimate prize for a Jedi hunter... the one man who knew the names, aliases and locations of every remaining Jedi in the galaxy...  
  
Xander turned as he heard booted feet hit the Permacrete of the sewer system. Making his way slowly to the corner, he pressed up against the side, and listened for more sounds.   
  
"Great..." he muttered, "Stormies, just what I need to round my day out and make it complete..."  
  
Readying a Concussion grenade with one hand, he checked the charge on his Blastech E-11a carbine with the other.

* * *

"Sir, there's someone round the bend..." reported one of the Stormtroopers that had been assigned to following an anonymous tip about two rebels  
  
The Captain replied through his helmet microphone. "Thank you, private. Do you wish to take point?"  
  
The private nodded. "It would be an honour, sir." He stepped forward, and was taken off his feet by the rapid-fire discharge of a blaster carbine.  
  
The now dead Stormtrooper landed in the sewer water with a splash, and sank below the waterline; his armour pulling him down faster than the body should sink.  
  
The Captain pulled himself against the wall next to him, and motioned for the rest of his squad to do the same. "This is Bee Kay Four Four One reporting rebel presence in the..."  
  
He trailed off as his eyes came to rest on a small object that had just rolled in front of him. "Grenade!" he screamed, before the explosive detonated, vaporising the nearest members of the squad and flinging the more distant ones backwards, and in some cases, into the water.  
  
Xander poked his head around the corner, and nodded as he saw one Stormtrooper struggling to reach the side of the sewer. "I'm afraid your luck just ran out, Stormie." Depressing the trigger on the carbine, a burst of energy was released, cutting through the armour of the Stormtrooper instantly.  
  
The white armoured enemy stopped struggling, and sank like his comrades below the waterline.  
  
Xander rolled each of the bodies that hadn't fallen in into the water with his foot, and looked around.  
  
"Kyle better be as bloody good as Dodonna said he is. 'Cause the rebels aren't gonna get a second shot at this... the Empire will be ready for the next sortie."  
  
He ran backwards for a few steps, before spinning on the spot and charging off down the tunnel in the same direction that Kyle had gone earlier. If he didn't seal that hole, Kyle's life would quickly become one that was both full of pain, and very short...  
  
Kyle scanned the area ahead of him with his eyes, pointing his blaster rifle wherever his eyes moved to. He keyed the radio mic wrapped around his throat. "I'm in."  
  
A haggard and tired voice responded. "Great. Now I can seal you in, and get the hell out of here... the Stormies can't take a hint."  
  
"I could have told you that..." Kyle responded. "Take care... I want you to explain just who in the galaxy you are..."  
  
A dry chuckle was the only response.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Since this is going on Tenhawk's XanderZone, why not borrow a line? It's the Coin of the Realm... kind of like salt at one point...  
  
Notes:   
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game.  
  
Rating: PG right now. May go up. I'll see.

* * *

The Comms Engineer spoke, "We have received a transmission from Princess Organa, General."  
  
Jan Dodonna nodded, and turned toward the viewscreen that covered most of one wall of the hidden facility that he was currently standing in. "Put it up, son."  
  
Princess Leia Organa's face appeared on the screen amidst a burst of static. "General Dodonna. We are in position to receive the plans, as you requested. I will transmit them via narrow-burst when they are in our possession."  
  
Jan Dodonna nodded and smiled at the obviously nervous young Senator. "Thank you, Princess. Alderaan has finally decided to join, then?"  
  
Princess Leia shook her head. "No, General. But I cannot stand by as the Emperor destroys everything the Senate fought so hard to achieve." She paused. "How certain are you of your agents? We have had several of Alderaan's security and intelligence agents uncovered as the Emperor's minions..."  
  
Dodonna frowned. That the Emperor posted agents on a planet known not to support any sort of military whatsoever was troubling. Then he smiled, attempting to put the Princesses mind at ease. "Have no fear, Princess, I trust these men with my life, and more. As should you..."  
  
Dodonna knew about Xander's past, and what he had done when Anakin turned to the Dark Side. Arguably the greatest Jedi ever discovered turned his back on the Force to protect those he cared about. Padme and her handmaidens lived today only because of Xander's self-sacrificing nature. Leia, and her unknowing brother lived only because of him. Many owed him their lives, and would never know it.  
  
Leia looked surprised at the rebuke, but took it as intended. "Very well, general. I will wait for the transmission... until I contact you again..." she nodded to him, smiled and reached forward to cut the transmission.  
  
Jan Dodonna looked at the now blank viewscreen. "I hope this works."

* * *

Luke Skywalker toiled under the unforgiving Twin suns of Tatooine. His uncle, while a bit of a slave driver, meant well, and Luke knew it. It was only a couple of days before the Jawas would come on their monthly sales trip, after having spent the past couple of weeks in the desert, searching for scrap and other potentially useful equipment that they could sell second hand to the underpaid and often desperate Moisture farmers of Tatooine.  
  
Luke looked up, shading his eyes from the Sun's despite his darkened goggles. His uncle stood on the ridgeline, looking down at him.  
  
"Luke!" He called as he slid-walked down the side of the dune. "I need to talk to you!"  
  
"What?" yelled back the sandy blond boy. "Uncle Owen? What did I do now?"  
  
Owen reached Luke, and smiled fondly at him. "You're not in trouble, Luke. I just need you to make a run to Toshi Station for some parts."  
  
"Can it wait till tomorrow?" asked Luke, "I was going down there to meet Camie, Fixer and the others..."  
  
Owen shook his head. "It can't wait. I need the part this evening. And anyway, I need you to stay here to check out any new droids we might get from the Jawas... they cut a hard bargain, but it might be the only hope for extra hands we have for a while..."  
  
Luke pulled a face. "I hope this wont mean I have to put off my application to the Academy again?" he asked with a too hopeful voice.  
  
Owen shook his head. "I just need you here a few more seasons, Luke... you can apply next year."  
  
Luke turned away, nodding, but muttering sullenly, "That's what you said last year..."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
Luke turned around again, a beatific smile on his face. "Nothing!" he declared brightly, "nothing at all!"  
  
Owen Lars shook his head again, and turned away. There was a lot that needed to be done before the Jawas arrived.

* * *

Kyle succeeded in ducking round a corner just in time to avoid being seen by a patrol. "I hate this... this facility has more damned security that Coruscant!"  
  
He peeked round the corner at the retreating backs of the Stormtrooper's, and checked the charge on his pistol again. He had liberated a Stormie grade rifle when he was discovered by a lone trooper, but didn't want to use it unless the proverbial brown stuff hit the extractor. It was not quiet. And quiet was what Kyle most needed to be for the next few standard hours. Discovery... proper discovery; wouldn't be fatal. It would be much more unpleasant... involving a little 'chat' with Vader and some of the Emperor's Torture droids.  
  
Jogging quickly down a corridor, Kyle turned left as he reached a T-junction and pulled a keycard out of his pocket. Swiping it quietly through the reader, he tensed as the door slid open with a quiet #hiss#.  
  
An Imperial Officer stood with his back to the door, examining a glass screen with several schematic diagrams on it.  
  
"Perfect..." whispered Kyle. Raising his blaster pistol, he shot the Officer in the back, before stepping into the room and looking critically at the diagrams.  
  
"Very lovely, but that is no help unless I can get a copy." He stepped neatly over the now dead body of the Imperial, and waved his hands over the keyboard as he thought for a minute.  
  
Finally admitting defeat, he keyed his Comm. "Jan?" Kyle asked, "Jan, you there?"  
  
A crackle of static, and Jan Ors' voice came over the Comm clearly. "I'm here, Kyle, where in the name of Alderaan's Twin Suns are you?"  
  
"I'm stuck in the Archive room... looking at a very pretty picture of a weapon the size of a small moon... and I have no way of getting the schematics without some serious time." His voice betrayed his anxiousness.   
  
"There isn't a lot I can do without some sort of visual, Kyle... you're on your own, I'm afraid..."  
  
"I was afraid that you'd say something like that. Listen, Jan, I'll call you back when I want extraction. Thanks anyway."  
  
"No problem, Kyle. Just remember, I want your handsome little rear to come back in one piece... no getting it shot off as you run away..."  
  
"Like a need another souvenir like Chandrila... I can do without another blaster crease on my butt, thank you!"  
  
Jan cut the Comm, but not before Kyle heard a snigger.  
  
"Women!" he cursed, before thinking better of it, "especially women who care for you!"  
  
Kyle looked forlornly at the console, before shrugging. "Ah... whatever. I'll try the usual method..." he unslung the E-11a rifle and fired a rapid burst into the console, watching as the plastic and transparisteel buckled under the barrage.  
  
Looking into the charred remains, he noticed a data tape hidden inside. "Perfect! The tried and true method works again!"  
  
"Shift Change!" called a bored voice from around the corner of the entrance. "Paulo, get you're lazy ass down to the sick bay already! You've been called for your physical for the past week!"  
  
The Shift Change Officer rounded the corner, and Kyle smiled disarmingly at him. "Hi there!"  
  
"Freeze, Rebel scum!"  
  
Kyle triggered the carbine again as the Officer went for his blaster pistol, taking the man off his feet and burning great black holes in the man's chest. "I don't like the cold, sorry."  
  
Kyle took off through a doorway he'd just noticed, seeing that it had some stairs going upwards. He keyed his Comm as he ran. "Jan! I'm coming out hot! I need some cover and a fast ride, ASAP!"  
  
Jan's voice came back over the Comm, all business. "Right Kyle, on it."  
  
Kyle dived through the door leading to the roof of the installation, firing off a burst at two surprised guards. White armour darkened as Kyle's blind shooting hit its targets, and the Stormtroopers fell bonelessly to the protomac of the roof.  
  
Rolling to his feet, Kyle looked up to see the Crow landing, and threw himself at the gang-ramp. "Take off! Don't set down! I'm onboard!"  
  
Jan heard him, and he rolled into the left bulkhead of the door as she slammed the engines into full.  
  
Seconds later, the only proof that there had been a Rebel raid were the dead bodies and the missing Data tape...

* * *

Xander dropped into the cockpit of a TIE Fighter that was part of the cities defences. He looked critically at the instrument panel before sighing and tapping in a sequence of keystrokes that blurred his fingers for a nearly 30 seconds.   
  
A smile blossomed as the panel lit up and the engines hummed into life. "I'm certainly glad that the Empire's engineers never found that backdoor... got to remember to thank Ezra at some point."  
  
Xander reached up and slammed the entrance hatch shut, then slipped his helmet on and plugged in the Life-support module. "I hate these things... why didn't Palpatine use the Y-wing like was recommended by the Senate?" he answered his own question with a sneer, "Oh, I remember, he had a power trip!" He quickly drew the crash webbing over his chest and locked it in place before the TIE fell.  
  
The docking clamp released the TIE, and it fell into the atmosphere underneath the fighter facility. The facility itself wasn't very high up, but had a few hundred feet of clearance under the TIE bays.  
  
Easing the engines out of neutral and into flight mode, Xander let the fragile craft find its own way in the atmosphere for a few seconds, before pulling up sharply and aiming for space. He had a rendezvous with a certain Alderaanian Princess to keep.  
  
"This is Lieutenant Needa calling the unidentified TIE that has just launched. Stand down your drives and surrender or we will be forced to fire upon you." The emotionless message from the leader of the air superiority wing that had been flying round the city cut through the clear Comm and almost made Xander jump. He frowned.  
  
"Any relation of Captain Needa?" He asked after engaging a voice scrambler to disguise his speech. His voice came over his earpiece far deeper than his natural one.  
  
"I repeat, unauthorised TIE; stand down and disengage your engines!"  
  
Xander flicked a switch, and the energy in his lasers began to trickle into the engines, making the TIE Fighter leap forward from the sudden burst of power.  
  
"We will be forced to fire upon you if you do not cut your engines and stand down!"  
  
"Tough." Xander spat over the Comm. "Come and get me!" he checked the charge in the laser banks, they were going down as the capacitors were no longer being charged, but there was more than enough to take care of the three TIE's that were chasing him. While manoeuvrable in the void of space, the hexagonal wings of a TIE fighter made them hard to turn in atmosphere. However, their impressive vertical manoeuvring ability remained.   
  
The Empire truly believed in 'what cannot be hit cannot be killed'. Pity they never taught the pilots that... as most never survived their first dogfight. Unfortunately for the TIE's, they had no shields and as such were extremely vulnerable to any sort of attack. If the pilots used their manoeuvrability they would be a force to reckon with. Any TIE pilot who survived more than six months of field assignment could be counted upon to survive almost anything.   
  
"Fifteen clicks..." muttered Xander, "just fifteen clicks."  
  
Pulling back hard on the flight yoke, Xander completed the first half of a loop to point him straight at the three chasing TIE's.  
  
As the first opened up with twin-linked laser blasts, the other two did not. "Tell your men you want the Kill, Needa? That will cost you..." Xander jinked sideways, feeling the ship complain as the hexagonal wings were forced against the atmosphere, before snap-rolling 90 degrees and flying off at a new angle.  
  
Xander kept up the verbal barrage. Distraction was how he would manage to escape this. "Not so easy, is it Needa? What, you got dumped in a TIE because you couldn't suck up to Vader?"  
  
An angry scream was exactly the response Xander wanted. He grinned. Imps never did manage to hold their tempers.  
  
Aiming the TIE back at the blue above him, Xander drained the final charge of his lasers to the engines. He couldn't take three in a dogfight if limited by atmospheric rules.  
  
The TIE rocked as laser fire cut close, superheating the air nearby and causing the buffeting. "Too close, too close!" Xander hissed, before sending the ship into a crazy spiral that ground him into the corner of his seat and strained the crash webbing.  
  
Green laser blasts covered the viewport for a fraction of a second, before the chasers gave up firing at the difficult target. But still they remained in chase.  
  
"Don't even know why you're chasing me, do you Needa?" Xander asked suddenly, "I bet they won't tell you even if you go back successful..."  
  
"I will not talk to a traitor of the Empire!"  
  
Xander snarled down the Comm in response to that. "Traitor to the Empire?! The Empire betrayed everything the Republic worked so hard to build! One man with delusions of grandeur destroyed a loyal and respected Government that had stood for thousands of years! You call me a traitor to your little Emperor, well; he betrayed or murdered any who spoke against him! He is the Traitor!"  
  
"I shall put your head on a pike in honour of the man you have just slandered!" Needa raged over the Comm, "the Emperor saved us from the stagnation of the Republic!"  
  
Xander cut the transmission. "Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that, Needy... it wont make it true..." the bile in his voice surprised even him.  
  
The Rebel Comm he had in his ear crackled to life a few seconds later.  
  
"Agent Harris, I presume you are in that first TIE?"  
  
Xander rolled his eyes. "No, I'm flapping my arms and flying out here by myself!" he snorted. "Of course I'm in the bloody lead TIE!" he screamed down at the radio operator and just as quickly hid his helmeted face with one gloved hand. "Oh, man, Giles... you have a lot to answer for!"  
  
"Do you wish us to dispatch an escort for you to eradicate the three followers?"  
  
Xander spared a quick glance in his Radar. "Nah..." he drawled, "I can take 'em!"  
  
A scuffle was heard on the other end of the Comm. Kyle's voice came over instead of the operator. "Take care, Xand... Needa's not playing with a full deck after all those taunts."  
  
"He wasn't anyway." Xander snapped back as he bounced out of the atmosphere. "I've got to go, Kyle... see you when I've given these guys a gravity express trip back to the surface."  
  
Xander twisted the yoke and brought the TIE around in a lazy arc that would advertise his intentions to the chasers. "Come on, guys... come and play."  
  



	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Since this is going on Tenhawk's XanderZone, why not borrow a line? It's the Coin of the Realm... kind of like salt at one point...  
  
Notes: Dogfight time, people! I hope I can do justice to this, as it's my first real attempt at space-combat writing...  
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game.  
  
Rating: PG right now. May go up. I'll see.

* * *

Xander completed the lazy arc that he had started, and watched the three TIE's that had been chasing him slow slightly.  
  
"They know a head to head is fatal... TIE's don't take laser blasts too well..." Xander smirked into his helmet.  
  
"Just remember, you're in a TIE, too, kid..." Kyle reminded him over the Comm. "You're just as vulnerable."  
  
"Yeah, but they don't have my dashing grace, do they?" Xander chuckled.  
  
"Keep living in that dreamworld, kid. You might just need it."  
  
Jan Ors' voice cut over the Comm. "Do you want me to launch the Crow and give you some backup?"  
  
Xander thought about it for a second. "No, I don't think so." He breathed in deeply, "I shouldn't need it."  
  
Jan's voice didn't sound happy when she replied, but she agreed. "Alright... it's your choice."  
  
Xander caught another female voice asking, "What in the Force's name does that idiot..." the rest was lost as Kyle cut the Comm connection.  
  
"Thank you for the vote of confidence, Princess..." Xander drawled at the closed Comm.  
  
He drew his attention back to the three TIE's, one of which had split off from the others.   
  
"I bet that's Needa." Xander stated to himself.  
  
The other two slowed further, but did not go below what Xander estimated was 1/3 throttle, the optimum manoeuvring setting. The lone TIE accelerated toward him, and opened up with twin linked laser blasts as the distance closed to 1000 metres. At that distance, a pilot had to be very accurate to get the blasts to do more than annoy their opponent, and while a few came close enough to give Xander mild concern, none were manifestly dangerous to his continued breathing.  
  
The distance closed rapidly as the two TIE's did a head to head, with Xander holding the yoke loosely, allowing the craft to have some say in exactly how it manoeuvred. Xander pulled up on the yoke at the last second, before triggering a short staccato of laser fire at his opponent.  
  
He didn't think it would hit, as he only fired to give Needa a reason not to pursue him. Xander was pleasantly surprised when Needa's evasive took him straight into the path of the final shot, not damaging him badly, but scoring a mark on one of the hexagonal wings, damaging the solar cells that formed part of the ships power systems.  
  
Pushing the yoke forward, Xander made the TIE dive and inverted suddenly, bringing the ship back in the direction it had just come from. Xander felt more than saw Needa fly behind him, moving too fast to drop onto his tail and tear him apart. Chopping the throttle back quickly, Xander saw the TIE begin a manoeuvre that would put it on his tail, had he completed the half loop he was going to. Kicking the throttle back in, he dropped onto Needa's tail himself.  
  
A sudden crackle over the Comm alerted Xander to some aspect of the battle changing. Kyle's voice came over the microphone with a no-nonsense tone. "The other two Eyeballs have decided to come join the party... I bet Needa called them in because you were giving him too much trouble alone..."  
  
Xander flicked his eyes to the Radar to see the two blips representing the two Eyeballs closing on him. "Thank Kyle," he said, "I see them..."  
  
Needa pulled a suicidal manoeuvre that Xander only just avoided. He killed his engines just as he pulled up. Xander dove and spun, narrowly avoiding a collision with the craft, but failing to fire before it vanished from his screen.  
  
"Gah!" Xander shouted, "I hate not having a nose!" the TIE's were a ball cockpit with two wings attached at the side. While giving unsurpassed views of the battle in the vertical plane, it hindered the sideways views. That was why the Radar was so important. The fighters the Rebellion used, on the other hand, were based around the more normal designs of planes back in the 'real world'. They had cockpits that sat along the top of the craft, with 'noses' in front of it cutting off sight of thing below the fighter. For a pilot of one to get used to the other took a lot of flight time. It was like asking the pilot of a Piper Alpha to fly an F-16 into a dogfight: almost impossible.  
  
For a fraction of a second, one of the TIE's appeared in Xander's sights, and he squeezed the trigger. The burst of laser fire tore into the ball of the TIE Fighter, shredding it and making the Twin Ion Engines explode in a cloud of fuel and debris. The two hexagonal wings spun off sideways as the explosion gave them momentum.  
  
Xander muttered to himself. "And, Ladies and Gentlemen, you have just seen the biggest variable in a dogfight: luck." While skill translated into better ability to adapt, and experience taught you how to adapt, space dogfights were still mostly down to luck: whether or not you pulled a certain way when breaking from a lock, or how an enemy reacted to situations they were placed in. That pilot simply flew the wrong way.  
  
Xander thought for a fraction of a second he could hear the Force scream of the pilot as the exploding Ion fuel made him one with the universe.  
  
With one of his wingmen gone, Needa became much more cautious. He hung back, taking pot-shots from a distance, but never getting close. His wingmate, on the other hand, seemed to be on orders to be as suicidal as possible. He closed the distance between himself and Xander to insane degrees, until wings were practically touching, before peeling off and starting the whole thing all over again.  
  
Xander growled in his TIE. "Want to play like that, huh?" the next time the TIE got next to him, Xander jinked the TIE to the side, swiping the other with his wing. The grinding of the solar panels sounded loudly in his mind, the tremors travelling through the frame of the TIE and making his chair and his bones shake with it.  
  
The TIE pilot fought back, too stupid to realise what Xander was doing.  
  
Needa opened up with another blast, to the right of Xander's craft, on the opposite side to his wingman's stunts. As the blast burned toward his right, Xander juked in that direction, then to the other side, allowing the TIE pilot to follow.  
  
Xander felt the man's shock and fear through the Force as the laser blasts burned through the cockpit, and the TIE exploded in the same spectacular manner the first had.  
  
"Two down..." Xander muttered, "One to go..."  
  
Xander attempted to talk some sense into his opponent. "Give it up, Needa... you aren't going to win."  
  
"A Loyal Son of the Empire never gives up!"  
  
Xander shrugged, but the move was restricted by the crash webbing in the TIE he flew. "Fine... do whatever you want. But I'm not the one who'll be free space Hydrogen..."  
  
A siren sounded in the cockpit, and Xander flicked his eyes to the approach warning lights. The one that signified a missile lock burned angry red at him. He shook his head, and spoke on the open Comm again.  
  
"You had Concussion Missiles and you never used them?"  
  
No response was forthcoming. The lock died for a fraction of a second, as the missile was launched, and then burned bright again as the missile acquired him from its own sensors.  
  
Jan's voice came over the Comm, thick with worry. "You'd better have some fancy moves to show us, flyboy!"  
  
Kyle growled at Jan, and it followed down the Comm. "Hey, you never show me that amount of concern!"  
  
Jan's voice came back, part amusement and part worry. "Because I know you'll get out of it... him, I have no idea about."  
  
Kyle laughed. "The last thing you have to do with him is worry about his well-being. He's better than ten Stormies... Xan'll cope with this..." Xander just caught the quiet, "I hope..." at the end.  
  
The missile approach alarm blared again, and he flicked it off with irritation. "2000 meters and closing..."  
  
"1500..."  
  
"1000..."  
  
"500..."  
  
"250..."  
  
"NOW!" Xander fired, and two linked blasts of laser fire shot out, the first missing wide of the missile, but the left most of the second pair hitting dead on. The Concussion missile detonated in a cloud of fury, and Xander flew out the other side.  
  
"Got any more, Needa?"  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Yes please!  
  
Recommended Listening: 'Down on the Upside', Soundgarden.  
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game.  
  
Rating: PG right now. May go up. I'll see.

* * *

Needa exploded at him down the Comm. "I have no sympathy for traitors to the Empire!"  
  
A war shriek sounded, and Needa's TIE suddenly accelerated forward. Xander raised an eyebrow, and began lacing the ship with laser blasts. Needa wasn't so much as trying to dodge, and the blasts caught the solar panels of the TIE, punching holes in them.  
  
Xander released the trigger, and opened the Comm. again. "Needa, I'll give you one last chance to turn around and head back to the surface... if you don't, you'll be throwing your life away."  
  
"I give my life for the Empire, Rebel Scum!" Needa's bellow was deafening in the Comm's earpiece, and Xander winced in pain at the volume of the sound.  
  
Ears still ringing from the volume, Xander missed the missile lock tone until Kyle's voice brought him back to reality. "Two on your tail!" The twin launched concussion missiles had overshot – luckily – as they approached, Needa having fired too close for them to adjust, but they then curved round and started tracking.  
  
Hauling back on the stick, Xander climbed and hopped the throttle, before cutting it out and inverting, using the gravity of the planet to pull him down slightly. Xander felt the TIE kick as it bounced on the edges of the atmosphere. Spinning the cockpit round, he found the twin trails left in space by the missiles, and fired one of his own at them.  
  
"Come on..."  
  
The missile connected with one of Needa's, both detonating and engulfing the second of Needa's missiles in flame.   
  
Checking the radar display, Needa's TIE had vanished.  
  
"Where'd you go?" Xander snapped, before routing more power to the system in case Needa had flown out of range. "...nothing!"  
  
Jan's voice crackled over his rebel Comm. "We got him. He tried to buzz the Pride of Alderaan, and one of the turbolaser batteries clipped him. With his manuverability down from your winging him, he didn't stand a chance. I think he knew that."  
  
"Dammit!" Xander cursed down the Comm. "He didn't have to throw his life away like that."  
  
"You heard him," Kyle cut in, "He was a classic example of the Empires indoctrination training. He would have been executed for letting a rebel escape if he'd returned... so he had nothing to lose."  
  
"Except his life..." Xander muttered bitterly.  
  
Princess Organa cut over the Comm. "Why all this concern over an enemy, Agent Harris? You're not an Imperial sympathiser, are you?" Her tone was dangerous, low and threatening.  
  
"Don't take that tone with me, Princess," Xander said sharply, "I've lost more to the Empire than you ever will."  
  
Little did Xander know how those words were to come back to haunt him.

* * *

The TIE Fighter was tractored into the docking bay of the Corellian Corvette, and Xander twisted the release wheel on the TIE's ball canopy, before climbing out and sliding down the side of the ball to the pylon holding one of the hexagonal wings on. He watched as one of the blast doors opened and Kyle, Jan and Princess Leia Organa of Alderaan, along with a security escort, stormed through.  
  
The Princess looked far from pleased, arms swinging with purpose, and a look that plainly said you didn't want to be on the receiving end. So get out the way.  
  
Hopping down off the pylon, Xander bent his legs as he landed, which made him look as if he was half way through doing a squat, and straightened up as Organa halted in front of him.  
  
"Well?" Xander said.  
  
"What in the name of the Force did you think you were doing? You endangered us unnecessarily!" Leia was close to a boiling rage. How dare this man endanger the Rebellion itself simply because he chose to show off? If she had her way, he would be severely reprimanded. "You can be assured that I will inform General Dodonna of this at once!"  
  
Xander shrugged. "Whatever pushes your buttons, Princess." He brushed some lint off a spotless shoulder with one hand, and looked at Kyle, pointedly ignoring the livid Princess of Alderaan. "I see you made it OK... next time, though, make sure you avoid the shift change."  
  
"How did you know about that?" Kyle asked, shocked.  
  
Xander shrugged again. "I was watching on the cameras. You didn't think I'd spent the last three months there just watching reruns of bad Nerfherder films, did you?" Oh Kyle and Jan's horrified looks, he continued, "What? Everyone has to have a hobby..."  
  
"And yours just happens to be slicing Imperial Networks, does it?" Jan asked sceptically.  
  
"Among other things." Xander nodded. "Like not getting caught and murdered... or interrogating Stormtrooper's with vibroblades..." Xander's smile, hidden under his helmet, turned evil. But the vocal inflection still got through.  
  
"You torture Stormtrooper's for a hobby?! With vibroblades?!" Xander's credibility had just taken a battering in Jan's eyes.  
  
"No, of course not!" Xander said shocked that she would even think that.  
  
Jan smiled weakly. "Oh. Right, you were joking..."  
  
"Exactly," Xander agreed. "It's the Officers that I use vibroblades on: Stormies don't know anything worthwhile!"  
  
Jan and Kyle remained silent, not sure whether Xander was continuing to tease them, or whether he was serious.  
  
"Oh, come on!" Xander moaned, holding his helmeted head in his hands. "I'm kidding. Honest."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really and truly. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin'."  
  
Kyle nudged Jan, and whispered to her, "He's crazy."   
  
Princess Organa blinked, her ire cooled slightly by the banter she had just witnessed. "Would you at least take that confounded helmet off?" Her revulsion was plain. "I can't stand those things."  
  
Reaching up to disconnect the life-support tubes running from a computer strapped to the chest of his stolen TIE uniform, Xander then popped the catches on the helmet before lifting it off slowly.  
  
Leia gasped as his face came into view.  
  
Xander gave her a pointed look. "Since I didn't get a satisfactory answer last time, again I ask, 'Well?'"  
  
Leia struggled for words. "Mas..." Xander cut her off.  
  
"No longer, Princess. Now I am simply Xander Harris. As I have always been."  
  
"But..."  
  
Xander shook his head. "No, Princess. That time is long past."  
  
"You must surely...?" Leia began, before trailing off.  
  
Xander shook his head. "No."  
  
Leia nodded, but didn't look happy. "Your mission was a success, then?"  
  
Xander nodded. "Yep. Get the bearded wonder into Imperial base: check." Kyle shot him a death glare at that nickname, but Xander ignored it. "Cover up traces of insertion: check. Get the hell out of dodge: check. Mission all accomplished, Your Gracelessness." His cheeky grin made Leia smile slightly.  
  
"I wish you wouldn't call me that." Leia complained. But she didn't complain too much.   
  
"Is it my fault you were clumsy?" Xander cocked his head to the side, and could see the younger Princess of Alderaan, along with her childhood companion, Winter, getting into all sorts of trouble. She had been in some very deep trouble with Bail Organa – her adoptive father, though she didn't know that – one evening, when she had meant to be attending a formal dinner for one of the Alderaanian Protectorates, and had instead got lost – and extremely muddy – in one of the quieter of Alderaan's forests. Xander had been the one to find her, and bring her and her companion home.  
  
Leia left, and the security escort departed with her, to leave Kyle, Jan and Xander in the Corvette's docking bay. The tech crews were going around their normal tasks, every now and again throwing glances at the three pilots standing there.  
  
Kyle started to speak at the same time as Jan. "How did you..."  
  
Jan continued, Kyle having stopped. "When did you meet Princess Leia Organa?"  
  
Xander's response was vague, at best. "Around."  
  
"Around? You don't get that familiar with someone of the Princesses position, 'around'." Jan was sceptical. "Come on, you can't hold out on us!"  
  
"I can and will." Xander apologised. "I'm sorry, but there isn't much I can say about it. We met. I looked after her as a favour to her mother for a few years."  
  
Jan nodded, until Kyle slid in, "Her mother died over a decade ago."  
  
"Exactly." Xander agreed.  
  
"Princess Organa isn't more than 18..." Kyle prodded. "And you don't look much older than that! How could you look after her?"  
  
Xander shook his head. "I told you, Kyle: I'm older than I look. Never take appearances at face value – one of my teachers taught me that – as an appearance can be deceiving."  
  
"That much is obvious!" Kyle snorted, "What I want to know is; how can someone who doesn't look a day over 20 standards, get to baby-sit Princess Organa a decade ago?"  
  
"I age well." Xander's flat response ended the inquisition.  
  
Jan extended the olive branch again. "Want to see the Crow?"  
  
Xander nodded. "Yeah. Please. It's been too long since I saw that bucket of bolts."  
  
"You know the Moldy Crow?" Jan's eyes widened in surprise.  
  
"Yep," Xander said, "owned her about seven years ago. I told Kyle when he mentioned the Crow... didn't he tell you?"  
  
"No," Jan said, looking hard at the now innocently smiling Kyle. "He didn't. But I'll get him back for that, don't worry."  
  
Xander looked apologetically at Kyle. "Sorry, man. Didn't mean to get you in trouble."  
  
Kyle shrugged indifferently. "It's a game we like to play. Don't worry about it."  
  
Xander sighed. "Fine. Long as you're happy."  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Joss, WB, UPN et al. own Buffy. George Lucas, LucasArts, LucasFilm etc. own Star Wars and everything else. Raven made Jedi Knight II.  
  
Title: Keeping True To Ones Self  
  
Author: Paradigm Shifter  
  
Rating: PG-13.  
  
Feedback: Yes please!  
  
Recommended Listening: 'Bloodflowers' The Cure.  
  
Continuity: Xander the Jedi, Sunnydale Jedi, any others that get bunged in the middle, 'To Learn of the Past' and any other side-pieces. And the 'Dark Forces' computer game. This part alludes to a lot of stuff that will happen in earlier stories: they haven't been written yet. Bear with me, please.  
  
Thanks go to Hatten for giving this a read over. :-)

* * *

Xander crawled through one of the ducts that allowed internal access to the engines of the Moldy Crow. Jan was following behind him, practically breathing down his neck as he cursed and swore about the state of repair it was in.  
  
"Sithspit! Look at this inverter! What were you thinking letting it get in this condition? And look at this! Shot, completely shot! You'd better get that stabiliser fixed or it's gonna come back to haunt you..."  
  
The look on Jan's face was not pretty. "Hey, flyboy! What I was thinking was 'I have no money, what do I fix first?' And not 'I have a bottomless pit of cash, why don't I buy a Victory class Star Destroyer from Palpatine?'  
  
Xander turned to look at her – no small feat in the cramped confines of the crawlway – and pulled a face. "I'm not moaning at you, directly, Jan. And I'm sorry I gave you that idea... but it's... ah, hell..." Xander's slipping back into 'earth' curses was a sign he was stressed beyond all belief. "Look, it's not you, it's not me, it's not Kyle, and it's not the Crow. It was a bucket of muck held together with rust and good wishes when I owned her: why should that change now?" He finished with a quirky grin on his face that made Jan smile despite herself.  
  
Jan's smile dropped suddenly. "So... what is the cause, then?"  
  
Xander sighed. "Eesh. I don't know... it's this whole Sith accursed situation. Leia – I mean, the Princess – is not ready for this yet. She's still too innocent, too naïve. It's all one persons fault. I intend to make sure that nothing like this can ever happen again."  
  
"You can't carry the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders. You might be one of the best agents the Rebellion has, but you're not capable of saving everyone. Focus on what you're good at..." Jan's attempt to support Xander was cut off with a snort.  
  
"Look, no offence, or anything, but you don't know enough to make that decision. I don't know why I even brought it up. Stupid of me."  
  
"No, it wasn't. If you need help, don't be afraid to call for aid. Both me and Kyle will be ready and willing." Jan's eyes burned with the passion that all of the true Rebels had at one time or another. It was the fire to see a wrong righted; a desire to put the galaxy back on the track where it had been safe.  
  
"We haven't got long before the Tantive IV drops out of hyperspace. The Crow needs to fly as soon as we do. Make sure you're ready... if we're all caught together, trust me, it will not be a good day for the Rebellion."  
  
"The Crow's ready."  
  
"Right. Then... thank you, Jan. Maybe I just needed to hear something from someone else. From outside, looking in."  
  
"You've got your perspective back?"  
  
Xander nodded to himself, his eyes distant as he lay in the crawlway listening to the hum of the engines, the hiss of coolant escaping from a pressure valve. "Yeah. Thanks again Jan. Tell Kyle to take care. I'll want to see him - and his beard - again." He winked, and Jan chuckled at the jab.  
  
"You shouldn't make comments when he isn't here to defend himself."  
  
"True... but I'm sure he'll talk about me soon enough."  
  
Jan nodded, and soon Xander was left alone, thinking about things only he knew.

* * *

Princess Leia found Jan in the hangar, fixing a sticky actuator in one of the Crow's landing struts. "Crowded in here, isn't it?"  
  
Jan jumped at the unexpected voice. "Oh... Princess Organa, I didn't see you there." She looked around the hangar of the Corvette, barely big enough for three fighters, the Crow and Xander's captured TIE were packed in tighter than was safe, but somehow it had been done. "Yeah, I guess it is pretty crowded. Uh... Your Highness."  
  
Leia waved away the title with a smile. "Could you just tell me where Xander... I mean, Agent Harris is, please?"  
  
"Sure." Jan hopped down from the box she had been standing on, and pointed into the belly of the Crow, up the boarding ramp. "He's hiding in crawlways in the engines. I don't know exactly what it is he's brooding about, but it's serious." Jan frowned, and asked uncertainly, "Is he... mentally stable?"  
  
Leia bit down a harsh reprimand. "He has a lot on his mind."  
  
"More than the rest of us? The rest of the Rebellion?"  
  
Leia nodded, completely serious, and very sad. "Yes." She vanished into the Crow, leaving Jan alone.

* * *

"Xander?" Leia's voice broke through Xander's musings, and he sat up – then promptly lay down again as he brained himself on a cross-strut.  
  
"Ow! Sithspawn!"  
  
"Xander?" Leia's voice sounded again.  
  
"I'm here, Princess!" Xander called, before sliding out of the tube and landing in a crouch a few yards away from where Leia was standing.  
  
She fluttered her eyelids at him innocently. "Hit your head?"  
  
Xander glared at her, but it was softened with a smile. He was still rubbing his head as he said, "What do you think?"  
  
"I think you need to get away for a while. Get a bearing on where you are now, who you are and where to go from here."  
  
"And that's your prescription for me, is it, Princess?"  
  
Leia rolled her eyes. "You don't have to be so formal, and yes, it is."  
  
Xander sighed, and suddenly looked like a defeated old man. "Look, no joking, what do you want? Or did you come down here purely for the good of my health?"  
  
Leia smiled cheekily. "Well, actually, yes, I did. But I have a few things I want to ask, too."  
  
Xander nodded, and the two started walking out of the Crow and through the Tantive IV's corridors. "What are they, then?"  
  
"Well, I thought since you were so reticent with facts – and your identity – that you may want to do this in private."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes. The Ambassadorial quarters are just down here," Leia nodded as he paused, "yes, that door." Leia pointed to a large double door, and Xander stepped through it and into a luxuriously appointed stateroom. She flopped down on a large couch, while Xander stared at the cycling pictures that were being displayed on the wall by a holoprojector.  
  
He was sober as he spoke. "It's been a... long time since I saw the Trifalls. Too long. How is Alderaan?"  
  
Leia looked annoyed that he had avoided letting her ask questions, but answered anyway. "Alderaan is good... fine. The forests are the same, as is everything else." She looked sad for a moment. "In truth, it's been too long since I saw them myself. My duties for the Rebellion have kept me away for far too long..."  
  
"How is Bail?"  
  
"My father is well. I was made Alderaan's Senate Representative when he decided that he was no longer willing to spend his life away from the planet he loved. But we didn't come here to talk about my father. Or my planet. Why are you not acknowledging who you are?"  
  
Xander sagged. "I... did some... terrible things, Leia. For some time, I could have been considered worse than Darth Vader himself. While I walked away from that of my own free will... after I left Alderaan, I got reminded that the Dark Side is only than one step away. I toe too close to the terminator line to not have the temptation of that at anytime. I was frightened. I was terrified that I would go down that path again. I nearly did. So I cut myself off from the Force."  
  
Leia didn't say anything for a long time, and Xander looked nervous. "I understand that you probably don't want me here, now. I betrayed a trust. I betrayed the galaxy I fought to protect. I... everyone is tempted at some point in their lives. For a Jedi, it is a constant struggle to not lose themselves in the Force. The Dark Side is insidious... it gets in everywhere, through the smallest cracks. It got through my armour. And trust me, Yoda was frightened that it would happen – it did. He should never have trained me."  
  
"No." Leia's voice was firm and hard. "Don't even think that, let alone say it! You have done a lot of good! You saved my family!"  
  
"I killed Leia! Not in the self defence! Not for the good of others! I attacked anyone who stood in my way! Just because they were there at the time!"  
  
Leia stood, and grasped Xander's shoulders in a grip that – while not vice like – was more than enough to stop him dead. The sincerity in her voice overwhelmed him. "I understand that you were tempted. I'm sure the circumstances were far from ideal... I can't see you doing anything like that otherwise. But I do know that you – for every moment I have known you – have been an honourable man: a good man. Putting others before yourself – even to your own detriment. You have been like a brother to me. A brother I've never had, and never expect to have!"  
  
Leia completely missed the flickering show of surprise, amusement, disbelief and gratefulness at her words. Surprise that she was showing her Force talents so soon, amusement at her unwitting announcement that she didn't have a brother – when she did, disbelief that she would think that highly of him, and gratefulness that she held him in such high regard.  
  
Leia continued without stopping, "You might doubt yourself, but those who depend on you cannot afford to. They believe you are a good man – and I believe you are a good man."  
  
Xander looked at the Princess of Alderaan. Emotion made his throat tighten; words were hard to get out. Only through long years of practice were tears avoided. "Princess... Leia. I... I don't know. I don't know what to say. But I can see where your oratory lessons came in useful."  
  
Leia smiled. "Then say nothing. It makes you seem much wiser than people who are speaking." She stood on tip toe, and gave him a peck on the cheek before leaving him alone – again – with his thoughts.

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